Thin Blog

It was not too long ago that I was 17 years old and then just the other day I looked in the mirror and I realized I am almost 50.  That may sound strange but that is really a true statement.  I do not know how that person showed up in the mirror but sure enough, every time I look he is there staring back at me.  It is not to say that I am unhappy it is just that it has all happened so fast that it is hard to fathom that it really has been that long.

I now find myself in a constant battle of what to choose from the the standpoint of what is healthy for me.  In my youth I would eat pretty much whatever I wanted and there were no consequences for poor choices.  Being overweight was never a problem and the fact taht something contained alot of calories was not relevant to me all those years ago.  When I was 17 I could eat what I wanted and in whatever amount I felt I desired.  Today if I were to live by those standards it would be safe to assume that I had lost the weight loss battle.  In the life that is on this side of the mirror I have learned that I cannot always have what I desire.  I have learned that weight loss is a constant battle and that in order for me not to explode into a 300 pound person I need to choose wisely.  In today’s world I know that I need to make food choices based on how that choice will effect my waistline.  I no longer can eat all the pizza and soda I want.  I no longer can eat as much candy or as much cake and chocolate.  If I were to eat the way I used to eat the amount of weight I would gain would be enough to end my life in the not too distant future. 

As time has gone by I have learned that I needed to reintroduce myself to that person in the mirror and try to be friends once again with what I see.  As time has gone by I somehow had lost the connection with wellness that once was protected by my youth.  This is not to say that I am not happy with myself, but it is to say that I am not as happy as I could be.  I am not happy with my weight and the only person who has made me this way is the person in that mirror.  As time has gone by that person in the mirror has somehow grown distant from myself.  It is only of recent that I have once again begun to know and love who is in that mirror.  It is only of recent that the relection is not of someone whom I am unhappy with.  It is  only of recent that that person in the mirror is not someone I am dissappointed with seeing.  It is only of recent that I can even look in the mirror and actually not feel anger for what is seen. 

Today when I look in the mirror I see the reflection of someone who needs love and patience.  When I look into the reflection I see the eyes of a person that craves to become the person always wanted.  When I look into the mirror I see the body of a person that is a bit older and has added a few pounds but I also see a person who has not given up.

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